Some of our greatest thinkers have had strong feelings about pizza. Here are the most famous, funny pizza quotes that can help you express your love. Use them on the invitations to your next pizza party or to inspire your own pizza prose. 

• “You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

While this quote is widely attributed to Yogi Berra, its origin is actually somewhat murkier. It has been told in stories about various athletes since at least 1965. But whatever the origin, Yogi Berra or otherwise, there’s a lot of wisdom to be had here. 

• “There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.” – Kevin James 

This one is a little unsettling, but it’s not untrue. 

• “Ideas are like pizza dough, made to be tossed around.” – Anna Quindlen 

Not necessarily about pizza, per se, but insightful nonetheless.

• “I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.” – Mike Birbiglia

Macabre, but funny.

• “The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza to only minus 271.3C – not much good for defrosting the pizza let alone cooking it.” – Stephen Hawking 

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• “Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, pizza is knowledge.” – April Ludgate, Parks and Recreation

Can’t argue with that.

• “If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.” – Nick Offerman

Shots fired.

• “Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard enough and believe in yourself.” – Ancient parable

• Martin: “Your arm’s not quite long enough for that, is it? Let me ask you a few questions. Can you get through the night without getting up to go to the john? Can you get in and out of a chair without going “mmmm?” Can you eat a slice of pizza less than twelve hours before you go to bed?”

Frasier: “What’s on the pizza?”

Frasier’s dad’s iconic test for middle age. 

• “I think everybody’s pizza box or plate ends up looking pretty similar, all the sauce and cheese eaten out of the center, and who gets left behind, the crust. Like Jeremy Piven at a strip club.” – Anthony Bourdain