Pizza toppings choices are personal, controversial, and specific — but what does your pizza topping order say about you? We broke pizza toppings down using the nine alignments in order to help you on your quest for self-discovery and good food.
Lawful Good: Veggie Supreme
For those of us who want to accomplish more than one thing at once, veggie pizza is the solution. Do you want to eat salad and pizza at the same time instead of one after another? Do you want to maximize the amount of vitamins you ingest per bite? Congratulations, the veggie supreme pizza is for you. The goody two-shoes of pizza orders, but hearty and satisfying nonetheless.
Neutral Good: Margherita
Neutral good is often characterized by a desire to help others, and thus can only be aligned with the most crowd-pleasing of pizza toppings. What do you order when you’re having pizza with new friends whose preferences you do not yet know? Margherita pizza. More interesting than cheese, margherita avoids any of the pesky pitfalls of other pizza toppings like mushrooms or meat. Margherita manages to be both entirely unobjectionable and satisfying all at once. Viva L’Italia!
Chaotic Good: Pineapple
Pineapple on pizza is good (don’t @ me). The chaos of the clash between salty and sweet results in a complex taste perfect for those of us sophisticated enough to accept that pineapple is a top tier pizza topping. Even more perfect when paired with ham or pepperoni.
Lawful Neutral: Pepperoni
Pepperoni is a classic choice, a crowd-pleaser among non-vegetarian crowds, just one step removed from true neutral. Spicy and crispy, pepperoni makes everything a little bit more interesting, even for the unadventurous pizza-eaters among us.
A blank canvas, cheese pizza is true neutral. When you aren’t feeling adventurous, or when you want to get a baseline for a new pizzeria before exploring their other options, cheese never lets you down.
Chaotic Neutral: Build your Own
True chaotic neutral is unpredictable and free from society’s expectations. You can’t be constrained by mundane things like menus. You like your pizza to be exactly the way you want it with lots of toppings. Sausage, onion, pepper, and tomato? Pineapple, jalapeno, and ham? Why not.
Lawful Evil: None Pizza with Left Beef
Neutral Evil: Anchovies
While following the letter of the law, namely the customer’s ordering instructions, this pizza is neither a pizza nor good. It is, quite simply, an abomination.
Both traditional and disturbing, anchovies on pizza are not for the faint of heart. For those among us who enjoy pungent flavors and food that can stare back at your, anchovies are the ideal choice. For the rest of us, those uninitiated into the cult of the anchovy or just scared of small fish, there are literally dozens of other options.
Chaotic Evil: Barbeque chicken
Question: if it doesn’t even have tomato sauce, is it even a pizza anymore? While barbeque chicken pizza is admittedly delicious, it has a chaotic energy that we cannot ignore. Is it a flatbread? Is it a sandwich? Is it a pizza? You decide.
Disagree? Please, come argue with us about pizza on twitter @slicepizzaapp