According to some food researchers, pizza blotting can help cut down on calories. Meanwhile, most pizza purists believe that slices are meant to be left in their original shiny form with their full coat of essential oils in tact.
Whether to blot or not is up to you. But, if you’re going to dabble in the blotting business, you ought to know the tools at your disposal:
The Wadded Napkin Blot
The most commonly employed technique: wadding a few napkins into the shape of a xiaolongbao and dabbing away at the slice until the grease is gone.
Unfortunately, a heavy hand with a paper soup dumpling can strip away more than just grease. Exercise caution, and a gentle touch, to avoid losing valuable sauce or precious cheese.
The Flat Napkin Method
If you don’t want your cheese or sauce to get lost, a single flat napkin could be your savior. Applying gentle pressure (nothing crazy), create a translucent Rorschach test to remove only the top layer of oil.
The Fold & Drip
After creating a New York fold with your slice, point it at a 45° angle towards your plate. This will result in an orangey river, and a few tributaries, on your paper plate rather than your pizza.
The Fat Mop
As Seen on TV!
The Original Fat Mop™ brings the aesthetic of a toilet brush into your kitchen to soak up the flavor and fun of your food. Order in the next 20 minutes and get a free pair of sauna pants!
The Right Move
Enjoy your slice exactly as your expert pizza chef, and the good Lord, intended. Pizza is perfection – don’t mess with it.
Or, better yet, encourage your pizza partners to do The Fold & Drip over your slice and double up on deliciousness.